Where The Hell Is Justin?!? (in SHANGHAI!): "Does anyone else want one? We can probably get a discount!"

So this last week was pretty incredible and slightly exhausting. After class on Thursday night I raced to Carrefour to buy some last minute necessities and also some essential snacks for the week long trip. And of course once I get back to my apartment it takes me forever to pack. The next morning we all woke up at some ridiculous time and met at the McDonald's in the Zhongshan Park subway station. This is where I dropped my Egg McMuffin on a table and almost got Meningitis.

Quick summary before the pictures...

From Zhongshan Park we took the subway to the Maglev station which took us directly to Pudong Airport. Our first leg of the trip took us to Chengdu, which is in Sichuan province. They are known for insanely spicy foods, earthquakes, and pandas. We stayed in a hostel (my first ever experience in a hostel) across the street from a "snack street" where they sold all sorts of addictive (and repulsive) delicacies and of course, Starbucks. Little did we know that this would be our last taste of civilization for the rest of the week.

From Chengdu we flew to Lanzhou where we stayed for probably an hour. The only reason we made a stop here is because it was the only way to get to Dunhuang, which we had to get to by an overnight train. Lanzhou is literally a huge city in the middle of nowhere. The airport is at least an hour outside of the city and driving into the city felt like driving through the deserts of Arizona. Nothing in sight for an hour and then suddenly a huge city out of nowhere, completely isolated from the world, appears. I guess this is what they call mirages. Lanzhou is one of those "second-tier" or "third-tier" Chinese cities that no one outside of China has ever heard of (despite their populations of millions). By American standards it would definitely be a large city but by Chinese standards it is probably a village. While no foreigner has ever step foot in the city, KFC was there in full force. Not in the least bit surprised.

I would be lying if I said that I was looking forward to the train from Lanzhou to Dunhuang. Fortunately, thanks to modern Western medicine (aka Sleeping Pills), enough Oreos to feed an entire elementary school, and beds that were surprisingly comfortable, the fourteen hour train ride wasn't bad at all. Actually it felt more like a two hour ride to me. Oops. For the Chinese, it seemed like their drug of choice was baijiu, a Chinese liquor that is both disgusting and amazingly effective. It's also cheaper than water. Coming from a city like Lanzhou, it wasn't too surprising when we found out that we were the only foreigners on the entire train. One of the conductors even came over and wrote our names down. We thought this was for official purposes until we realized she was writing on a piece of tissue. From then on out we saw a steady flow of Chinese people pass by our cabin just to observe us. I imagine this is what the Pandas in Chengdu feel like.

Like Lanzhou, the city that popped out of nowhere, the Dunhuang train station was brand new and probably one of the nicest train stations I have ever seen. China is crazy about this. Plopping down randomly huge and nice things in places that don't seem to belong. In Dunhuang we stayed in a hostel right next to all the sand dunes of the Gobi Desert. We also found a tour that took us into the desert (ON CAMELS!) for a night.

From Dunhuang we went back to Lanzhou (because we had to fly out of there back to Shanghai). We should have known when Vicki's gigantic China guide book didn't even have a sentence on Lanzhou that the city would have absolutely nothing to do. Because of this, foreigners rarely ever visit the city. Everyone in our group (especially the non-Asian ones) got plenty of stares. I could have quite literally built grand stands around Carlos, Steph, Emily, Lara, or Graham (or all five....$$$$) and charged people just to stare at them and people would have paid. So different from Shanghai where foreigners don't even get a second glance.

While in Lanzhou, the city with no tourist attractions, Carlos, Emily and I decided to get massages. We ended up at this place that was an entire skyscraper, actually 10 floors but that counts as a skyscraper in Lanzhou, full of massages and things related. I guess it could be called a bathhouse. Anyways....by far THE sketchiest and most fascinating experience of my life. Carlos and I got asked by one of the employees if we wanted "happy endings" in the locker room, we said NO, and when the people came in to massage us, all three of them looked like prostitutes. Scantily clad. Whatever they did wear was almost completely see-through and did little to hide their bright red underwear. They also had so much makeup on we could barely tell the difference between them. At this point we were thoroughly scared and definitely laughing uncontrollably. "WHAT THE HELL DID WE GET OURSELVES INTO?!" Pretty soon we found out the massages were not the kind we were used to. Even though no "happy endings" were provided, the masseuses sat on us while they massaged us. At one point they also walked on our backs. Afterwards, we were offered food and a bath. We took the food. Said no to the bath. And then we hauled ass back to our hotel to scrub and sanitize every crevice of our bodies that could have possibly come into contact with the masseuses. Oh, and on the way there Emily bought a hot cup of milk tea, and on the cup said, "It is forbidden to use suction tubes to drink hot things". Her thing was hot and she was illegally given a suction tube. Tsk Tsk!

And then we flew back to Shanghai.

A sign on a booth at the snack street in Chengdu. "A bunch of meat" for 5 RMB??? Sold!

Almost everything was ridiculously spicy. I took one bite of these noodles and died.

Lollipops made from pure sugar and molded by hand into animals.

Our hostel in Chengdu. Note to self: get meningitis vaccine ASAP.

They had Western food! Their omelettes had more salt than egg but whatever.

At a "Buddah Theme Park". Emily and Lara acting like fools.

I guess when foreigners do this they're just asking for attention. Oops.

Some stick like object that seemed important.

Couldn't really reach the tummy but hopefully I got some sort of luck.

The mountain was filthy! Quidditch anyone?

Millions of love locks.

The Goblet of Fire.

Waiting in line to see the world's largest Buddah! There was no end to this line.

We found ways to occupy ourselves. See those necklaces? Some lady gave them to us on a shady bus before we got shoved off and into a restaurant.

More line.

Wea HEAH! The World's Largest Buddah! Was it worth the four hours in line and skin that is now ten shades darker? Hmmm...

Chengdu's world famous panda breeding center. This is the place that you read about in newspapers.

Panda Gobstopper.

They were too cute!!! This one sat there happily munching on his bamboo. He was eating when we got there. He was eating hours later when we left. What a life.

Awww!

This is where they had some of the cubs. This one tried to escape by climbing to the top and attempting to squeeze through the bars.

What an attention whore! There were more people taking pictures of this panda than of Britney Spears during her psycho head shaving car bashing days.

Pandas in every shape and size.

Despite my best efforts to kidnap a panda....well just couldn't do it. I settled for a picture next to a picture of one.

Exhibit A: Emily "ABSOLUTELY (did) NOT (use the toilet paper)" Flagg

Another stick like object that seemed worthy of a picture.

The one day I'm not wearing stripes...

These are monks. They probably have better cell phones than you.

Taxi drive from the Lanzhou airport to the Dunhuang train station. Doesn't it look like Arizona??

The inside of the train. I gave this woman an oreo.

Carlos. His hands and arms have become permanently fuzed in that position.

The ridiculously nice train station in Dunhuang.

Where is this? Oh right. NOWHERE.

Vicki was attacked by taxi drivers the minute we walked out of the train station. Me? "umm...I only speak English!" Hehe.

Our hostel next to a sand dune in Dunhuang. The people here were really nice. (as a rule of thumb, the further you travel away from Shanghai, the nicer the people become). It also took this place about two hours to make a meal for us. Lunch? Best order when you're feeling hungry for breakfast.

Cutesicles. Dusty too. Sand will continue to fall out of parts of my body for the rest of my life. Thank you Gobi Desert.

Right out of a travel abroad brochure!

More Arizona.

Caves and Buddahs in Caves. No cameras allowed inside. :(

My new cowboy hat and Emily's new thing.

This is where they filmed Star Wars.

Graham (cracker) on rock.

Jafar and his camels.

I've always wanted to this.

Climbing up our first sand dune!

They even had sleds! They were too fast to handle! *cough*

An oasis in the middle of the desert. This one had a lake in the shape of a moon. "Crescent Lake" Somebody told me that it is shrinking and will disappear soon.

This is what happens when college students are told to point at camel toe. (look at steph)

Thats my camel getting up in Carlos' business. Carlos was a ruthless despot and refused to pet him.

This is my camel. I named him Toe. He was going through a phase in life, thus the baldness and lopsided humps. "You are Beautiful NO MATTER WHAT THEY SAY..."